What’s up everyone?
Well not much has changed recently other than hearing from a lot of friends that I haven’t heard from in a long while… And it is good to finally hear from all of you… Well the saga continues in the real-life human drama that is known simply as Jasyn… I am finally a permanent employee of GoDaddy.com, which comes with significant benefits and a nice pay increase, so looks like I won’t be running out of gas anytime soon… However, I am still just an emotional, physical, and psychological wreck anymore… Anyone who is close to me knows the situation, however for those few of you that don’t know I have just been busting ass over my job in order to prepare myself for my newborn son to come into this world… I have been saving money, setting up the baby’s room and even getting arrangements made with my job to get some time off for probably the biggest day of my life…
I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m just stressed out to the point where I have been literally pulling out my hair… I’m the sole provider in my household… So I will be providing for 3 people, I mean I can handle myself just fine, but however I’m just completely exhausted that I have to work overtime, and all my money just goes out the window… It wouldn’t bother me if it were just me and my kid, but for me to pay for another full grown adult that’s a completely different story… Here’s a fun stat for everyone, of the 27 months that we have been together, she has been out of work for 10 months… that’s over 1/3 of the time that I have been just the lone provider… I have to draw the line somewhere, but I have no idea where to start… I can’t kick the mother of my child out on the street, and I just can’t sit here and completely fall apart due to me being the sole provider… I just don’t know anymore….
Sorry if you are reading this and just thinking, “Man you are just one sorry mother!” which pretty much sums it up as a whole… but who knows… there may be a silver lining in this scenario that I might actually come out on top, and I believe that will manifest itself in my son! Because I realize that I am not working for myself anymore, I am working for my son…. For him to grow up the way that I did, with a loving father and grow up with the amenities that I grew up with as well… But I want to be the best damn father I can be, and I know that my son will bring out the best in me.. and that will be the greatest gift of all…
Oiy… this entry is turning into a novel… Then again, like I was saying, my life is a drama story…
Well I’m going to bring this entry to an end, I’m sure you’re all tired of hearing me bitch, and complain for one day… I will catch you all later… TTYL!!
[There aren't enough drugs and alcohol in the world]